‘Being Responsible’

Every page of the newspaper, these days, screams about the raging debate on cow slaughter and consumption of beef being termed as anti-Hindu and hence anti-national. No one really knows what triggered this unnecessary discussion about the choice of food determining the nationality of a person. Police raids, crackdown on hotels and restaurants serving beef and lynching of common people have already sparked off protests by the opposition and intellectuals with some even returning the recognition bestowed on them by the government.

But amongst all these incidents, people constantly predicting on social platform about what lies ahead for the current government, are unable to see the woods from the trees. These people tend to forget that the new government was voted to power to introduce reforms; instead the same government is being pushed to a backtrack on grounds of religious intolerance. While the society, during any age, will always have a minor set of fanatics and bigoted characters, the rest of the society at large gets trapped in its clutches forgetting that the former group is so unnecessary and must be ignored at every step.

While discussing about the future of this sovereign, we are ignoring the present situation when we have the option to move ahead economically and politically, but choose to remain in darkness of controversies that threaten to mar the future of this country.  

Can we strive to reach the end of this tunnel where the light of development awaits us, leaving behind the darkness of intolerance that has been a part of the history of our country for ages?

We have the right to choose as much it is our responsibility to choose.

‘Be You’

Someone asked me recently, “How have you been?” I did not answer; I just smiled back. It would have been inappropriate and rude to tell him that the experience of the past one year of my life has turned me into a misanthropist – a skeptic to be put more simply. The society around me has not changed much; it still remains a masquerade party as it was when I first stepped into the shoes of adulthood. I don’t still know what it is like dealing with real people for I have never experienced anyone rare and genuine.

My experiences are gradually turning the colour of my hair grey with each new silver streak reminding me that many years of my life have indeed passed in knowing people. The punch line ‘Be You’ of a reputed online apparel store keeps flashing itself on almost every form of media advocating the necessity of being the real self. But in a society like ours where a fake curve on the face of a woman makes men go down on their knees, is it possible that honesty is rewarded and integrity acknowledged?

My cynical self has already assured me that the concept of ‘real’ can only be defined and understood in literary pieces and voluminous epics, while my optimistic self still awaits someone who can put my doubts to rest.

'I am on my own'

As I write this piece, I realize how important and beneficial it is for a woman to rely only on herself, especially, in matters pertaining to daily existence.

A feeling of desperation that had only led to frustration and anger had slowly been building up inside me, not against someone in particular, but against the society as a whole where people live under pretence and misunderstanding. In my case, people pretended and I misunderstood. I misunderstood their intent, manipulations and vanity. What I gained in turn was an experience so bitter that I avowed, "I am on my own from today."

This realization came in a bit late but am grateful that it came at a time when I am still capable of making choices regarding my career.

Where simplicity veils the talent within

It was my another day in metro today. Like any other day of the week, I had boarded the metro to Mandi House Station, near which my office is located. Contrary to the sweat-breaking and noisy crowd of everyday, there were not too many people in the coach I had got into. It was a ladies’ coach full of all kinds of women, young & old, beautiful & ordinary, fashionable & simple. Before me, was seated a lady preferably in her mid 30s, ordinary looking with a mole just above her left eyelid, wearing a black printed dress with cobalt blue polka dots. Ordinary as her looks were, her clothes were simpler with no extra frills or laces adorning her dress as opposed to the unnecessary cuts and laces we find in dresses today. The first impression I gathered, from her dress and looks, about that lady was that she probably worked in a lower management position in some private firm. Her dress, looks and mannerisms were too ordinary to lend any grand impression about her.

But overhearing the conversation between her and the girl sitting adjacently, I realised my folly of underestimating her credentials. The lady gleefully informed the girl that she had completed her PhD in Chemistry and that a book authored by her recently got published. The conversation that continued further surprised me when she showed the book titled ‘Heterocyclic Compounds’ authored by her. While taking out the book from her bag, she informed that the book has also found its place in the library shelves of colleges and schools and that it took her two years to complete her research on the subject she had written in. I saw the glint in her eyes that spoke of achievement that could be attained only after years of hard work while the smile on her lips spoke volumes of adulation she had received on account of constant and consistent efforts. Her words revealed the great deal of knowledge she has about her subject, though her simplicity had veiled the talent within.

I learned a lesson today, thankfully, not the hard way – Simple looks veil the talent within.

I seek peace in isolation

My mother has a strange opinion about relationships. She believes that the moment you are born, there would be someone already created and present whose luck and behaviour would complement yours. That person would, sooner or later, walk into your life to give a holistic feel to your, otherwise, incomplete existence and his manner and wishes would in some way fuel your ambitions and fulfil your desires.

Of the 27 years I have lived on Earth, I have not yet found and met none to make me feel complete and secure. And the couples I see existing by my side, in the neighbourhood I live in, have lent me no reason to believe that relationships are necessary for survival or they can provide the necessary impetus one needs to move ahead in life. Everywhere in the streets or offices, I witness married men secretly ogling at their spinster colleagues with a look and discharge powerful enough to destroy their worth and beauty. Strangely, I do not see my and female (married) colleagues behaving in the same fashion. In fact they seem to have accepted the fact that their fate is sealed and doomed and that they are in no way socially superior to their single colleagues despite constant trials to strike an intimate camaraderie with them.

If this is how relationships mould the outlook of the women involved and turn them into marionettes performing in a theatre, then my only wish is ‘God Save Me.’ Hope He has created none with behaviour and luck to complement mine.

I am alone and happy for I have some goals to achieve and desires to fulfil before my body is burned under the pyre and ashes flown into some river.

The intention to bond with someone of the opposite gender does not fit the frame of my mind for I seek peace in isolation and my heart beats for none other than myself.

I wish to be free of the shackles guised and veiled under the colourful nature of relationships.

 

-Amen

 

 

Life ...

I want to be everything except a vulnerable woman. I strive to be everything except a lost soul. My mind wanders in search of the guiding light that gives meaning to life; instead it remains shrouded in darkness inbound. My heart finds peace in isolation as a child finds solace in her mother's arms. I witness the beauty of nature, but unable to comprehend the ugliness within. I am in search of that 'SOMETHING' that I am unable to define.



I  understand; I misunderstand
I am understood; I am misunderstood
I learn; I unlearn
I remember; I forget
I am the light; I am the shadow
I am the flame; I am the wick
As I live and die every moment of my life.