Where simplicity veils the talent within

It was my another day in metro today. Like any other day of the week, I had boarded the metro to Mandi House Station, near which my office is located. Contrary to the sweat-breaking and noisy crowd of everyday, there were not too many people in the coach I had got into. It was a ladies’ coach full of all kinds of women, young & old, beautiful & ordinary, fashionable & simple. Before me, was seated a lady preferably in her mid 30s, ordinary looking with a mole just above her left eyelid, wearing a black printed dress with cobalt blue polka dots. Ordinary as her looks were, her clothes were simpler with no extra frills or laces adorning her dress as opposed to the unnecessary cuts and laces we find in dresses today. The first impression I gathered, from her dress and looks, about that lady was that she probably worked in a lower management position in some private firm. Her dress, looks and mannerisms were too ordinary to lend any grand impression about her.

But overhearing the conversation between her and the girl sitting adjacently, I realised my folly of underestimating her credentials. The lady gleefully informed the girl that she had completed her PhD in Chemistry and that a book authored by her recently got published. The conversation that continued further surprised me when she showed the book titled ‘Heterocyclic Compounds’ authored by her. While taking out the book from her bag, she informed that the book has also found its place in the library shelves of colleges and schools and that it took her two years to complete her research on the subject she had written in. I saw the glint in her eyes that spoke of achievement that could be attained only after years of hard work while the smile on her lips spoke volumes of adulation she had received on account of constant and consistent efforts. Her words revealed the great deal of knowledge she has about her subject, though her simplicity had veiled the talent within.

I learned a lesson today, thankfully, not the hard way – Simple looks veil the talent within.

I seek peace in isolation

My mother has a strange opinion about relationships. She believes that the moment you are born, there would be someone already created and present whose luck and behaviour would complement yours. That person would, sooner or later, walk into your life to give a holistic feel to your, otherwise, incomplete existence and his manner and wishes would in some way fuel your ambitions and fulfil your desires.

Of the 27 years I have lived on Earth, I have not yet found and met none to make me feel complete and secure. And the couples I see existing by my side, in the neighbourhood I live in, have lent me no reason to believe that relationships are necessary for survival or they can provide the necessary impetus one needs to move ahead in life. Everywhere in the streets or offices, I witness married men secretly ogling at their spinster colleagues with a look and discharge powerful enough to destroy their worth and beauty. Strangely, I do not see my and female (married) colleagues behaving in the same fashion. In fact they seem to have accepted the fact that their fate is sealed and doomed and that they are in no way socially superior to their single colleagues despite constant trials to strike an intimate camaraderie with them.

If this is how relationships mould the outlook of the women involved and turn them into marionettes performing in a theatre, then my only wish is ‘God Save Me.’ Hope He has created none with behaviour and luck to complement mine.

I am alone and happy for I have some goals to achieve and desires to fulfil before my body is burned under the pyre and ashes flown into some river.

The intention to bond with someone of the opposite gender does not fit the frame of my mind for I seek peace in isolation and my heart beats for none other than myself.

I wish to be free of the shackles guised and veiled under the colourful nature of relationships.

 

-Amen

 

 

Life ...

I want to be everything except a vulnerable woman. I strive to be everything except a lost soul. My mind wanders in search of the guiding light that gives meaning to life; instead it remains shrouded in darkness inbound. My heart finds peace in isolation as a child finds solace in her mother's arms. I witness the beauty of nature, but unable to comprehend the ugliness within. I am in search of that 'SOMETHING' that I am unable to define.



I  understand; I misunderstand
I am understood; I am misunderstood
I learn; I unlearn
I remember; I forget
I am the light; I am the shadow
I am the flame; I am the wick
As I live and die every moment of my life.

The unbearable pain of silent suffering

You burden my heart with sorrow,
With the pain hidden in you.
Allow me to share your problems,
If not relive them with you.

A strange impact

It is strange that the impact of someone in my life could be so huge. Till date, I knew to think only of myself, but suddenly now I think about him. And then I realize that I think of nothing other than him. His memories wake me at four in the morning and keep me busy all day. His words keep ringing in my ears, his loneliness aches my heart and, for no reason, I have suddenly stopped thinking of myself.

God help me and spare me the trouble, for I know not what I am doing. I am afraid to tread the unknown path of pain and longing and wish to return to who I was, free of emotional baggage and worries.

My emotions at play

His smile makes me smile,
And his tears make me cry.

His silence makes me crazy,
His words give me relief.

I look into his eyes for answers,
instead I find more questions
and a vast sea of loneliness.

I wish to extend my hand to him,
but fear of being pushed back.

I walk beside him under the open sky,
Looking for answers to his questions and mine.

I

I fear to look at what is left behind
I am eager to look at what lies ahead
What I left behind is my past
What lies ahead me is my future
My past is not dark, but is full of grays
My future may not be bright, but is full of rays
What I have left behind is my innocence
What I have embraced is diplomacy
I have put a mask on my face for the world to see
My real self is hidden, but not lost
I am full of disbelief, but have not lost belief
I rush forward as I fear to fall backward.

I beat my conscience today; I beat the very reason of being called ‘human’ today

I did and experienced something which I had heard of till date but had never witnessed it myself. I experienced the selfish side of my nature today. I did something which beat the very reason of classifying myself as ‘human’.

The incident happened when I was coming to office today. On my way to office, I suddenly saw a bitch standing with her two puppies standing in the middle of the road barking at every car that went by. What seemed like barking at first instance was in actual pleading. She was pleading to every passerby for help for her third puppy which lay on the road bleeding. The puppy’s skull was broken. Blood was oozing out from a crack in her head. The puppy had been hit by a car. I saw and witnessed but did nothing. The first thing which came to my mind was that I need to reach the office in time. The second thought was there is no veterinary hospital nearby, so I had no place to take the puppy for treatment. I moved on wishing that someone else would help. I moved on praying that the puppy may suffer a painless death. But by the time I reached halfway to my office, I realized that my mind was looking for excuses in order to beat my conscience and the very intention and desire of helping the puppy. I remember the look in the mother’s eyes, asking for assistance and a bit of time from everyone around her. I remember my apathy for the mother who looked into my eyes and barked at me wishing that I would not ignore her puppy like others. But, it is too late now. I have reached my office now. The puppy must be dead by now. The mother must by howling now sitting by the side of the road. I beat my conscience today. I am no more a ‘human’. I am like others around me whom I consider shameless, disgusting, indifferent, unconcerned, and double-faced. I realized how barefaced I could be to ignore the crying and howling of a mother. I AM SELFISH. I AM DISGUSTING. I AM ‘NO MORE HUMAN’. I am like all others around me. I am no better than them. 


Dear Sorrow,
what do I do with you...?
Why don't you find another home,
another friend...?
Like a bird by the window pane,
You keep visiting me
again & again...
Wonder, what is that
you're looking for...
Someone to talk to,
with someone just like you...?

From Apple to AAP; Lal Bahadur Shastri’s grandson, Adarsh Shastri, leaves plush job to join Kejriwal’s party

The Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) has found for itself another admirer and that too not an ordinary one but the grandson of former Prime Minister, Lal Bahadur Shastri, Adarsh Shastri.

Adarsh (40) who joined the AAP on Friday is also the son of Congress leader Anil Shastri and was the head of sales for Apple in Western India. The unconditional support provided by the Congress to the AAP to form the government in Delhi paves way for Adarsh as a high-profile enlist in the party that takes pride in flaunting the broom.

When asked, Adarsh said that his decision to join the party was solely based on personal conviction. He added that though he had a cushy life with a great company but somehow it did not feel right. He felt inspired by Kejriwal and compelled by the AAP leader to do more.

Adarsh who felt interested in the policies and outlook of the AAP around seven months ago quit his job in the first week of December.

Meanwhile, the Congress leader and father of Adarsh, Anil Shastri talked about the possibility of the AAP changing his son’s way of thinking. Though none of his sons showed any political inclination in the past, he feels that his son should go ahead with his decision if he feels it right.

Adarsh has not been assigned any specific role by the AAP. Also Adarsh who had campaigned for his father in 1989, 1991 and 1996 for Varanasi, Allahabad and Indore seats is ready to contest the Lok Sabha elections if his party allows him to do so.

Adarsh has over 15 years’ experience in the telecom sector and comes from a known political lineage.

The unusual change from a corporate job to donning the cap for a newbie political party facing numerous challenges to fulfill the expectations of the common man may leave the newcomer look for new strategies to make his stint in the political arena successful.

Samajwadi Party plays ‘Bharat Ratna to Ch. Charan Singh’ card to appease the lost Jat vote bank

In a damage control mode following Muzaffarnagar riots, Samajwadi Party which has lost a bulk of their Muslim vote bank, now plans to woo them back into their fold by asking the Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, to consider the name of Chaudhary Charan Singh as the next recipient of the country’s highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna.

The Samajwadi Party (SP) found itself on a sticky wicket after the Muzaffarnagar riots which left 62 people dead and hundreds of families displaced. More so, the Samajwadi Party may have to bear the wrath of the Jats during the coming Lok Sabha elections due to the so-called Muslim face of the party, Azam Khan, claiming that the clashes were the doing of the fascist forces that wanted to shake the sense of security of Muslims in the state of Uttar Pradesh. Azam Khan’s order to the police to go slow in controlling the riots in Muzaffarnagar did not go down too well with the Jat community there. Considering that the Muzaffarnagar riots had two consequences, political and administrative, that could turn the wheel of power in BJP’s favour, the SP has turned to playing the Bharat Ratna as a political football by appealing to the government to bestow the award to Chaudhary Charan Singh, a former Jat icon. The former Prime Minister was known for his association with causes dear  to farming communities in the North.

Keeping the coming Lok Sabha elections in mind, Shivpal Singh Yadav, general secretary of SP and PWD minister of Uttar Pradesh, has written a letter to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, demanding Bharat Ratna for the late leader.

Earlier the Assam unit of SP in 2008 had demanded that the award be given to Mulayam Singh Yadav citing him the only secular leader in the leader who has worked with the likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Jai Prakash Narayan, and Ram Manohar Lohia.

Rajendra Chaudhary, spokesperson of the SP, confirming that the party has indeed demanded the award for Charan Singh, said that the late Jat leader was politically very close to Mulayam.

Chaudhary added, ‘‘Charan Singh took forward the legacy of (Samajwadi Party ideologue) Ram Manohar Lohia. He used to say in his lifetime that Mulayam will take forward his legacy. A life-size statue of the Jat leader was erected in front of the Uttar Pradesh Vidhan Sabha when Mulayam was the chief minister. He had also inaugurated a degree college at Etawah’s Saifai in the memory of the former PM.’’

It is not the first move that the SP had played to win back the support of the Jat community. With leaders from other political parties including SP, Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP), and Rashtriya Lok Dal (RLD) warming up to the Bharatiya Janta Party (BJP), after the riots in Western Uttar Pradesh, the SP is experiencing a dent in its vote bank since RLD leader Chaudhary Babulal, a former minister in the earlier Mulayam Singh Yadav government enjoys considerable clout in the dominant Jat community.

With Jat community leaning towards the BJP, the SP had earlier decided to announce the birth anniversary of the former PM (December 23) as a public holiday.