Life, Gender, and Law

Of all the things whose prices have been increasing day-by-day, life seems to be the cheapest. Not only the value of price has dropped in the last few years, the margin of its decrease is increasing everyday. We do not value life, whether human or animal, anymore. What started as a poaching of animals for the pleasure of killing and trade purposes, people have come a long way in committing crime amongst themselves by killing each other for money and other selfish reasons. There is increasing news of gruesome killings owing to quarrels, honour killing, murder in a bid to rape, murder after rape, and crime related to property disputes. Depravity and wickedness have become a state of the common mind.

Added to it are atrocities against women in the form of female feticide, killing of female new born, rape, domestic violence, marital rape, mental and physical torture for dowry, attempt to murder to make way for illicit relationships, and finally death of the victim to prevent identification of the criminal.

And then there is law, which is known more for delayed justice owing to piling of court cases and denied justice due to our corrupt system.

We blame our society and inefficient police system and judiciary for all the wrong happening in society. But, have we ever stopped and wondered as to what consists of society? It is we that the society is made of, rather put it as, the society is made of us, the people. We, the people, choose not to vote and do away with our basic fundamental rights and duties. In return, we get a government of the hooligans, for the criminals, and by the corrupt. We choose to criticize the system instead of taking part in the system or being a part of the system. We choose to tell our daughters to be safe rather tell our sons to behave themselves. We choose to celebrate the birth of a male child rather than treating our girl child as our own and spending our resources for their growth and upliftment. We choose to fear and keep ourselves mute and deaf to the corruption around us rather than raise our voice against that is profoundly immoral and malevolent. We choose to peep through the eyeholes in our doors and from our balconies rather than show our support to those who wish to bring a change around us. We, the people, are responsible for our doom because we have lost our calm and focus towards society in which we thrive and multiply, considering it our right to disrupt the peace and defer the rules that have been set for our own well being.

Serious systematic reform

There is a debate among the people and the leaders of the Opposition on the need for castration or introduction of death penalty for the rapists. But unfortunately, none of them is ready to look beyond these easily available options. Whereas castration may decrease the sexual prowess of the rapist, but will that make women feel safe on the streets? Will it teach men to treat their partners with dignity and respect? Is not there a need for overall systematic reform regarding all spheres of a woman's life? What about reforming laws regarding medical evidence, statement of the victim, hospital records, immediate medical aid to victims before lodging of FIR, complaints against harassment for dowry, eve-teasing, marital rape, destruction of evidence, physical torture, etc..? War hungry politicians have enough provoked the people to clash with the police and it is not surprising that the people have taken to the roads for justice. The class of Indians that is yet undivided in terms of caste, color, language, or creed have forgotten that there is more to be attained and established. A serious national review of all legal issues surrounding rape, sexual assault, and gender rights need to be done on a national basis. Women cells to deal with need to be set up with officials and counselors necessitating to be women. Speedy trials and adequate compensation in case of the aforesaid crimes should be assured. Government should be more open to communication and feedback (even if it means brickbats) owing to its nonchalant attitude and indifferent policies. There is a common feeling among bureaucrats and government officials that death penalty mandatory for rape will make it more likely that a rapist kills his victim. But in spite of the existing laws, there have been cases that the rapists have murdered or attempted to murder their victims. In such a case, a law should be enacted which will instill fear in the minds of wayward people before they attempt to do anything wrong with our womenfolk. Systematic reforms regarding all crimes against women need to be looked at again and amended as per the changing times keeping into mind the security of the women and children in our country. Rape cases that have not been decided yet need to be reviewed under the new laws to be enacted. What the government must do is to commit itself to employing all the recommendations, including any on police or judicial reform, and not simply pick out those, which are politically the most convenient.

Has tolerance become a democratic malady?

In Harish Khare's article, ``The temptation of anarchy" I found lines, ``It is tempting to suggest that stringent laws and stronger police presence alone would help roll back habits of violence against women. A major pre-requisite has to be a culture of dignity and respect for women" whose meaning I failed to understand. In a country like India, where women are not given due respect even in their own houses, can we expect men outside their families to look at the opposite gender with esteem and value as themselves? Easily said that laws cannot be secured on streets, but has not the mob been successful enough to sensitize the fact that we Indians need to do away with our insensitive government? But the biggest hitch lies in the fact that the peaceful protests carried out by people are being interfered with by hooligans and anti-social elements. Till date the protests, which were being carried out for justice have suddenly become a tool for the opportunistic politicians and miscreants to create an environment that has hung our heads in shame. Where on one hand the liberal sensitivities of the slowly increasing crowd were offended by lathi charge, tear gas, and water canons, petty politicians hungry for power fuelled the situation by mobilizing the crowd against the police by sending in their law breakers capable of arson and spreading disrupt among the peace loving people. Law against crimes like rape, eve-teasing, harassment (physical or emotional), domestic violence, and rape in marriage need to be put in place and our leaders need to understand the fact that a nation cannot progress if perpetrators of crime are allowed to remain in open for long. Capital punishment may not be the ultimate solution, but it is a good solution in itself. Castration can help, but the questions remain, ``Are the rapists only to be castrated? How many men need to be castrated? How many men would be willing to get castrated?" Tolerance is good, but as long as matters are within our endurance levels. Being in a democratic environment does not make us liable to tolerate anything and everything. Tolerance should be a quality but not a deprivation from tranquility and societal peace. Surely, we cannot make laws on our roads, but we as Indians can stand up together for justice that is wanted by and for all. We can stand up and let our countrymen know that the feeling of morality has not yet faded away from our conscience. We are still one and need to remain one despite the caste and communal barriers created by our power hungry politicians and the quota systems initiated and boosted by some petty forces beyond our reach.

Nurturing the grey population

Life is more often about being taken care of in childhood and taking care of others in the later years of our lives. But what about the grey population whom we see but ignore and who need as much care and help as our young generation? People behave like children at two stages of their lives, one during childhood and the other in the last days of their lives when they need someone to listen to them, to cry and laugh with them, and give them the compassion and love which they yearn for. During our childhood, the lessons are mostly of nurturing, love, and compassion but we choose to apply what we have learnt only towards our future generations. We fail to understand the needs of those who had spent their lives taking care of us.  No one wants to live with, and take care of an old person who is ill and generally difficult deal with due to physical and emotional problems, that often require more care than they can provide. The journey of our lives begins with being taking cared of but we tend to forget the moral responsibility we have towards our parents. They need as much care, may be more care than our children and when we forget that, we forget one basic human need – the need to be loved. I see my friends feeling agitated while talking to their parents but have failed to understand the reason behind it. God, I see you every day of my life in my parents’ eyes and in the grey population around myself for they have been sent by you to us to make us understand that one day we will also have to go through the same phase of our lives.

We all bleed alike but do not treat alike

We are in no mood for perfection for we do not have the time to do so. But can’t we even desire to do so? This is the first thought that would come to each one’s mind after watching this video. We spent approximately four minutes of our life in watching this video, but can’t we spend one minute of our lives to stop and think as to where we are heading. We need not devote our entire lives to the society as Mother Teresa did but we can definitely rewind our memories and check as to what went wrong and if there is anything that can be undone. We can definitely keep our ears and eyes open to see if there is anything we can make right. A smile on our faces does not cost anything but gives us so much in return. A courteous expression, an intention to help, an act of gratitude, and moreover a humane attitude can definitely go a long way to bring about a change in the environment we thrive upon and the society we all live in. Where the spectre of terrorism and hatred has ruined our basic outlook towards society, let us look around and give ourselves another chance-a chance to love alike, a chance to forgive, and a chance to forget the misdeeds of others because we are definitely no better than them; acts of love which will make us laugh, cry, and think. We all bleed alike but we do not treat alike.

An evading Prime Minister and meaningless sympathy

With the whole country rising in favor of demanding capital punishment for accused in rape cases, the Government stills seems to be in flux as to what it should do. Peaceful protests were held which turned ugly due to the interference of some anti-social elements and opportunistic petty politicians, the police rained tear gas shells, water canons, and batons on the protestors, and metro stations closed down owing to the massive outcry against the grave injustice committed against women each day. But what came out, as an outcome was only a sympathetic statement by the current Prime Minister. The people failed to make out the real impact of the sentence. In return for justice, our countrymen got only a fake glimpse of the Prime Minister who had been evading this issue all along. So, the questions that erupted in our mind as a consequence are:

• What kind of horrendous and imbalanced life the girl would have to lead, if she survives?
• What can be done to get an Act against rapists in place?
• What more can we expect from our current corrupt government?
• Are we really a part of democracy?
• Are we still staying in that medieval era, where men could force themselves on women to prove their masculinity?
• Is justice for real?
• Should we trust the law and order system of our country?
• Is it worth being a woman?
• Has our country truly risen from the shackles of gender biasness, which our great leaders had dreamt of?
• Is the freedom we enjoy worth the sacrifice of millions of people who had to lay down their lives for it?
• Are we really free?
• What next, if justice is denied to the victims?
• What next, if the perpetrators of crime manage to walk free?
• How many more women are going to get raped in the forthcoming days?
• Are we safe in our own country?
• Should we always have a male escort with us while moving away from our houses?
• Should we leave our jobs and responsibilities for fear of being eyed, followed, and raped by hooligans?
• Is there any way to get out of the vicious circle of fear in which our minds are entrapped?
• Do we really need that fake sympathy from our PM?
• Do we really have the right government in place?
• Do we really have a worthy PM or a proper political party at the center?
• What next should we do to garner justice for the rape victims?
• Do we really want to do something?
• If yes, then can we really do something?
• Are Indian women only an object of desire for the men around them?
• With rape being a manifestation of a patriarchal society, should we still refer to our country as our motherland?

These and many more questions will arise and remain unanswered unless we decide to come together and change the way our country is being governed. Changing the law would be just a footstep, but changing the mode of governance and including more people in the power of decision making would be a giant step in the polity and history of India of which our future generations would feel proud of and be willing to participate. Let us forget what our nonchalant Prime Minister has to say or what our indifferent ministers have to do in Parliament, or what or unconcerned Government has to do. The only thing we can do is to move forward to make our society safe for women and children. Let's not forget that we have the right to vote, the right to choose our leader, and the right to bring a Government at the Centre, which will ensure safety, peace, and equality for one and all. Let's keep ourselves awake to be a part of the responsibility, which the Nation demands from us.

Reply to Mr. Katju's statement

Recently, Mr. Katju had mentioned in his blog, ``Section 376 Indian Penal Code already provides for a maximum of life sentence for rape, and I see no reason why capital punishment should also be provided for it." Herein, I would like to bring to his notice the recent incident in Bihar wherein a girl was killed after she resisted a probable rape attempt. In spite of the fact that the rapists do not fear capital punishment due to the existing prescribed laws in our country, the hooligans ended the life of the girl, once again proving that life of a woman is not valued in our country. (see http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/girl-killed-after-rape-bid/article4233542.ece) In wake of the increasing frequency of these incidents, should not we have a proper law in its place for bringing into book all those involved in ghastly crimes as invading the privacy and modesty of a woman? How much more do we need to suffer? How can we call ourselves a part of civilized society when we are unable to protect the women folks around us? Why do we refer to India as motherland, when we have no respect for our mothers and sisters? Do we need to wait and wait for more crimes piling up? Can't we make a bold new start in 2013 pledging to do away with the entire nuisance we have had to put up with till date? Are urban women different from rural? Why have not we been able to garner justice to the ill-plighted women who have to face the same omen as us everyday of their lives? When do we expect our men to grow up and stop looking at women with pierced gaze, which makes them feel uncomfortable? When would we start to take responsibility on ourselves for the ills existing in our society? When would we consider ourselves safe? I stand up not only against what has happened in the Delhi gang rape case but all others which we have failed to take notice of in the wake of our busy schedule and phony lifestyle? I wake up on behalf of all the Indians whose conscience is still alive and kicking. I make a call on behalf of all distressed, who need to be heard by the so called law makers of society and our elected and appointed government. I pledge to condemn all injustice meted out to my fellow people on grounds of gender, race, caste, and other grounds which hold no place in an educated and civilized mind. I pledge to uproot those evils, which are within my reach and grasp to make this society more livable. I pledge that I am an Indian and would like to be identified as an Indian, not a woman, Hindu, Bengali, or Kayastha.

From creativity to self-employment

How many knew that creativity could create waves in the art of candle making? Recently, this video was taken by someone in Germany where girls and ladies had mastered the art of candle making not only as a hobby but had also turned it into a lucrative business. What looks like a simple decorated candle is actually a master piece in itself. Layers of wax and colors piled on each other not only give way to the making of a beautiful candle but also a sense of pride among women regarding their creativity and a feeling of fulfillment regarding their earning opportunities. The candles are made and sold, each design pertaining to a particular occasion. The candles known for their unique designs have found for themselves a special place among candle lovers and people who are in the business of selling candles. These candle makers have managed to prove a point that it does not take much to utilize own creativity  and turn it into a source of self-employment.

Memories revisited

Those were the days, when we were given to make Christmas trees as homework. And then, a contest was held as to whose tree was the best. Cribs were made with material provided by the school and Christmas carols were sung in front of the crib. Those were the days when we waited eagerly for Christmas holidays to begin and receive cakes from our Christmas friends. Never did we know, that those were the best days of our lives, with no burden on our minds and no liabilities on our soul. The green pine trees, the silver bells, the golden colored balls, the brightly packed gifts, the melodiously sung songs, and the yummy cakes with lots of cream toppings and pineapple pieces--that was, by definition, Christmas for us. I wish life had an "Undo" button so that we could have gone back to revisit those old days. But alas, life has no reverse button. What is left are the memories to be revisited when we rewind ourselves. Happy Christmas to one and all !

My New Year wish !!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone has a New Year wish, but has anyone given a thought to the kind of wish a woman may have? But a wish that is common to every woman is the one that is cited above -- a slim body and a fat bank account. But then our wishes get mixed due to our bad habits and spurious life style. Our fake lifestyle, false vows, counterfeit promises, and phony behavior contribute to the ever-increasing weight and depleting currency in our wallets. What is wished is a heavy bank account, as heavy as the treasury of the Government of India, and a slim body which we can be proud of and people oggle at. But alas, when will our wishes be fulfilled? Santa, at least fulfill my wish this year. Please !! I am not asking you anything that is out of your reach. So quickly gear up to fulfill my wish.
There is a famous saying in Hindi, " Sabkaa bhalaa ho, par shuruwaad mujhse ho." No doubt, this is true.

Rape – a detour taken by man to prove his masculinity

Yet, another shocking incident rocked the country with the rape of an eight-year-old girl in the rural areas of Bihar. The victim was found dead in a canal, but sadly, it did not make the headlines in majority of the newspapers. The reason obviously is known, but the question still remains as to why the government lacks the urge to amend the law regarding punishment of the accused. Are our current laws enough to stop crime and protect our women from the prying eyes of men? What makes Indian men feel that rape is the ultimate way to prove their masculinity? Why are not they being taught at home about the importance of treating the opposite gender with respect? Why do they have the urge to look beyond a woman's veil and strip her of her modesty and chastity? What gives them the arrogance and boldness to pave the way for this act? When will our nation rise from the shackles of gender-biasness and feeling of superiority in support of the male community? When would our women be able to move freely out of their homes without being haunted of fear of the unknown? When will our nation rise from the perils of injustice meted out to the people belonging to the economically backward classes? The questions are many to be asked and pondered about and the answer lies within us. The fact that the birth of a male child is more welcome than the female child is in itself the most shocking ritual existing in our society. The moral and ethical standards of men in our country are questionable. And the worst part is that many girls lack the courage to reveal to their parents their ordeal and the dastardly crime committed on them. Few make it to the police station and only a handful is allowed a proper hearing and judgment. Rape and attempt to rape are crimes that have become common in our country. Classic examples are the Billa and Ranga case, Priyadarshini Mattoo case, Shonali Mukherjee case, the recent case of two school girls raped by fifteen men in Madhya Pradesh, and many more which do not even make it to the last pages of our newspapers. What is stunning is the fact that rape is being considered by men an easy way to prove properties characteristic of the male sex. Is our country enough enlightened and our women enough empowered to deal with the inappropriate behavior of men and fight back for justice? Or do we have to still wait for another era to begin where women will be given the same amount of regard, esteem, reverence, and consideration as our men?
 

Belated Happy Birthday to my blog

Dear Blog,

                 Yesterday was your birthday. One year has passed since I gave birth to you. I didn't forget your birthday. I am just fashionably late. You were born out of my thoughts and desire to have you and own you with intent to give space to my expressions. I had and have words to express myself but just needed a space of my own where I could write you down and share them with people with similar and dissimilar ideas. I made you, designed you, filled you with my impressions, outlook, perspectives, viewpoints, beliefs, and ideas and completed one year of my life with you. Not that I devoted my entire year to you, but you were with me throughout the year giving vent to my frustrations and sentiments, when I had no one to share my opinions with. You were passionately receptive but not responsive. But thanks to be with me for the past one year and I sincerely hope that our association remains and retains itself over a long span of time.

                                                                                                 

                                                                                                   Your sensitive blogger,

                                                                                                            Abeer Ray 

Yet another rape in the capital

Writing about this or discussing about this hurts, since this has become the fate of women and girls in our society. Rape is nothing new since the meaning of the word and the brutality of the act has failed to arouse a feeling of consciousness among us. The city rape got its headlines due, but what about the other rapes, which may have taken place in the capital but have failed to come to the notice of the police. In spite of this crime being committed on a continuous basis, why has the judiciary failed to bring about a system, which gives out stringent punishment for the accused? Why are rapes being considered like any other crimes like stealing or robbery? Why have we failed to bring about fast track courts to punish the guilty? Why have the laws in the Indian Penal Code not been amended to bring about harsher punishment for the rapists? Why do women have to live in danger all the time? Fear of rape, eve teasing, domestic violence, and many other kinds of dread exist, which women have to face in their day-to-day lives. May be the answer lies to the kind of upbringing we have or the kind of morale existing in our society. Families wanting to have a male child, feeling unhappy with the birth of a female child, people telling their daughters to be careful on the roads rather than teaching their sons to behave themselves, questions being raised about the clothes worn by women rather than the abusive behavior of men, and many more. To change the society around us, we need to change ourselves; we individually need to change our outlook towards the impact of gender biasness existing among us (in between us) rather. I wish the men had learned to look beyond the veil of women, and to regard them with respect instead of stripping them of their modesty.

The principle of Unity and individual Responsibility

Just happened to stumble upon this ad which shows as to how a feeling of individual Responsibility motivates unity among people. Unity, a far-fetched term in today's world seems so difficult to be established because of our hectic schedule and moreover a feeling of selfishness which has got etched in our minds due to the materialistic nature of society we are living in. But what happens, when we suddenly start to feel responsible for all that is happening around us and the change we can bring about working in a combined fashion towards that one goal which all of us know but have purposefully avoided and neglected for so long. What happens when we educate ourselves about our personal responsibility towards all? Does education teach us to be responsible or has this quality been limited to the books we read?  As goes the popular saying, "Help wherever the hand can reach, wherever a thought can fly. The heart aflame with help is our heart." 

The laws of brotherhood which were taught in the classrooms when we were young seem to have been so easily forgotten. Recognizing our personal responsibility and putting into action correct ways of interaction in the arena of daily life will move this planet in line with the evolution of cosmos. Individualism, which was so important for the human being to attain, needed qualities and characteristics must now evolve into group concern and group love. And that the feeling of unity must be a motivation for all acts we do or all decisions we make. We do not need large promises to be made, a small act will do. A small act of kindness, a small act of hope that everything is not yet lost, a small act of love, and a small act of own responsibility can act as the best gift to our society and the nation we are responsible for.

Jai Hind !!!!

Life = Risk

The quality of life you lead depends on the amount of risk you have taken, for every step of life demands you to make a choice. A choice between what you really want and what you already have by virtue of luck. As popularly said that necessity is the mother of all invention but is that all? From where do the people get the motivation to invent? Surely, it is curiosity in them which motivates them to search, to look for, and to find the answers they are looking for. But is finding things easy? No, by some experience, because every finding requires some risk factor. The risk is to put your heart and soul into that one thing which your mind craves for so badly. Recently I came across a quote, may be, the best sentence said by Swami Vivekananda, “Take Risks In Your Life”..
>If You Win, You Can Lead.!
>If You Loose, You Can Guide.!
A risk taken by one of the most revered spiritual Gurus of his time was in finding the meaning of religion, the answer on the existence of God, the path to salvation, the meaning of education, the importance of character-building, and many questions which had remained unanswered and still very few can answer confidently.
What if Narendranath Datta, known popularly as Swami Vivekananda now, had chosen the usual life of looking for a job and getting settled like all others of his time? May be then, he would have never found answers to the ever reeling questions on spirituality and God? May be then we would have to wait for several more generations to find the answer to those questions. Or may be, he would have never found the path to eternal happiness which he did by taking a risk, a risk as not to choose the path chosen by destiny but the path which he had chosen for himself forcing destiny to follow him and guide him.

What if Albert Einstein had chosen to go for a well paid job rather than follow his curiosity to the path of invention? May be, then we would never got the equation E=mc².

What if P T Usha had never followed the risk of becoming an athlete? Simple, we would have never heard of her.

And then there are many more, who had taken risks in their lives because they understood the vary basic equation of life as Life equals Risk. The amount of risk you take determines what life gives you back in return. Choose to take risk in the wisest manner possible and see what life has in store for each one of us.........for life demands something to give back something in return. Life demands our risk taking ability and capability and provides us motivation to do the same. What we seek from life is ultimately in our hands...................how we look at life lies also in our hands.................................